Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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