If that was your dad, he is hot
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Randomize
