The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
