I want to stick my p in your. b.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
