his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
