The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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