saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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