I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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