i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
