her vagine was all disorganized.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
