I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
