Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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