Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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