Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
