my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
