Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
