I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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