last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
