Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
