I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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