if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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