can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
