it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
