Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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