She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
