watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
