Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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