Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
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