I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
