is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
should my penis look like a turkey
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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