I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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