My sheets look like a crime scene.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize