i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
