bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
