who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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