they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
