Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
