Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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