We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
