You work out of a Hotel?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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