I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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