i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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