her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
