you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
