So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
