I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Sacagawea was the original milf.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think your dad took our porno
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
