No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
