i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
