I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
