Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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