i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize