Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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