This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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