i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you would pick up someone in the library
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
