I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
