im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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