I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
