Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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