We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
