I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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