I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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