I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
