Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i love accidental penises.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
